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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?